New Store

Our new store is now up at
dangerprints.com      

We’ve set it up so you can browse our entire collection in five seconds or less because, after extensive demographing, it turns out our primary audience has the attention span of a Millennial on methamphetamines.

So stop by and have a look around. Don’t worry, it won’t take long. We know you’re busy doing important things on the internet.

dangerprints.com

dangerprints.com

dangerprints.com

Grüß vom Krampus

Are your kids spoiled? That’s a rhetorical question, of course; we know they are. While everybody appreciates you helping to get the economy back on track by raining down gifts on them in celebration of the Winter Solstice this year, you’re only making things worse for yourself.

Along with things like pre-school graduations, a lack of corporal punishment and labeling imperious brats as the next step in human evolution, rewarding them for no reason is only going to make their already inflated sense of self-entitlement even worse.

What’s to be done? Well, remind them that there are consequences for their actions, nobody gets a free ride, and life is much harder than they’ve been led to believe so far. Balance in all things.

As usual the Germans figured this out a long time ago and have the answer. Santa needs an antithesis: The Krampus. Hang this guy on their wall and they’ll get the message– or they’ll get kidnapped in the night, one of those. Best of all, it’s guaranteed to frighten them into behaving all year round, unlike the the Elf on the Shelf.

Happy holidays from Danger Press.

Krampus

Krampus

Krampus

Lettering Strokes

Print your letters, kid. Here’s how you do it.
Lettering Strokes

I first learned the proper ways of printing letters when I took a drafting class in college. Before they’d let you anywhere near CAD, you had to get down with pencils, compasses, and T-squares. My professor was great. He was one of those awesome, old man hard-asses that makes you do things the way he had to do them–without computers. So we did. We learned, or rather re-learned (thanks, first grade cursive) how to make our letters correctly.

Which brings me to my main point—learning cursive, beyond your signature, is one of the most useless skills I ever had to get good at.

First of all, it’s illegible. In fact, the more you use it, the more illegible it becomes. Who invents something like that?

Secondly, and for the same reason, it’s not art. I hear people make the argument that it’s an artform that we are losing as a culture. Your creative work should get better as you do it more, not the other way around; therefore, not art.

Thirdly, the main purpose of the written word is to communicate. If your writing looks like a pretty but indecipherable alien language, it fails to communicate. It’s putting form before function and it’s stupid. And this is coming from an avid calligrapher. I write calligraphy every day and cursive can go to hell. I still have bad calligraphy habits because of the cursive I had to learn.

Have you ever seen a letter from the Civil War on Antiques Roadshow? Totally unreadable. Comically so. No wonder brothers were killing brothers. The top brass probably figured if nobody could read what their orders were, they’d be good’n pissed when it came time to fight.

Look, if you still don’t believe cursive is a bad idea, do this: put something valuable in a box, like your wedding ring, your kid’s favorite stuffed animal, or your season tickets to Cirque du Soleil, write your address on it in cursive, and mail it to yourself. Now, how confident do you feel that it will show up at your house? The post office has all sorts of automated equipment that gets you your mail faster by scanning printed letters and numbers on them without getting mistake-making humans involved. Those machines are going to kick your package to the side because they don’t have time for your Benjamin Franklin ass.

We made the print cheap. $12. Stop writing like your grandmother.

Lettering Strokes

Lettering Strokes

Lettering Strokes