Hybrid-living people

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Green living is beyond trendy at this point and is pretty much on its way to becoming a lifestyle choice. And soon you’ll be able to buy lots more stuff to prove you’re living that lifestyle.

There isn’t a single human on the planet that doesn’t like the Earth. I mean, what are your other options? Live on the moon? The Earth provides us with food, water, shelter, gravity, sunlight, McDonalds, and all the other human essentials. I suppose the problem is that there are a whole mess of people out there that don’t really care to preserve what little slice of untainted wilderness and wildlife is left unchanged by our modern sprawl.

Somehow we can train chimps and Jack Russell terriers to fly spaceships, but can’t convince Joe Six Pack down the street not to dump his used motor oil down a storm drain.

Fortunately for retailers, rich yuppies allow their collective guilt to drive them to snap up every product marketed with the words “environment,” “organic,” and “eco.” Of course, the retailers are hoping that while you’re driving around in your Prius, you won’t try to quantify how much of the world you actually saved by buying a car with two engines (oh yes, it still runs on gas, remember?) and a trunk full of batteries that will end up in a junkyard 10 years from now when no one but robots know how to service it.

Remember that for every Prius you buy, for every organic pear you “rescue” from Kroger, for every recycled magazine you buy, there are 20 whale-killing, arsenic-dumping, radiation-laden corporations sending us hurtling toward our oh-so-glorified dinosaur-style extinction. But until then you can feel good knowing that green retailers are lining their pockets with your quaint attempts to reduce your carbon footprint.